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THE END: Pages 441 to 445

Hello gang,

The first adventure of  Tinkers is finishing here. I hope you enjoyed the ride and the end of this story arc. I had planned to end it on April 2nd. But I wanted to close March with a bunch of pages because you don’t deserve to wait any longer. Thank you all for being here, thank you to those who started supporting me from the beginning. Some of you stayed and some of you left, but it doesn’t matter, you were also very supportive.

Much effort and time I have spent in doing this project, specially translating everything that I wrote and making grammar mistakes. That’s why I appreciate all your support. Thank you so much to those ones who were always helping me to fix the dialogues. I promise you that you will be in the Thank You page. I want to mention, without making you feel bad, that if I finished this project, it was not for you but for me. If I had it done because of the readers I wouldn’t finished. Maybe I’d have feel depressed because of the lack of traffic visitors in order to be able to make my living doing this. Or maybe I didn’t get commented as much as I saw in other american webcomics, or maybe because I never reach the top 10 of the best comics, or perhaps because I never got a nomination, or whatever… for other things. All this went through my head and almost distracted me from my goal. Then I found the right motivation: to express what I feel and have fun doing it. However, sometimes I was worried to make you have a good time with the dialogues and Tinkers’ fun situations. I hope you spent a good time as well.

In advance, thanks for the understanding. But definitely you’re an important piece of this project because my work is done just if at least one person read it. Otherwise, it’s incomplete. So thanks for being here.

What is coming next is hard work. I want to draw a bunch of pages at the beginning. I also want to redraw and adjust some panels. Polish dialogues and prepare this work either to sell to a publisher or to print it myself.

Expect soon a sneak peek of the concept art  book of  Tinkers. I promise that the book is fun. I also hope I can print it or at least put it on sale via iTunes. That’s why it’s important to subscribe to the mailing list to get future news. Well I’m still deciding whether to go to work on the next adventure of Tinkers, or rest a little working on another project I have in mind. Whatever it is, future projects will have a short extension and not as long as this.

So, thanks for reading and thanks for being all the way.

Talk soon friends,
Raul.

PLEASE VOTE FOR MY WEBCOMIC!!! You can vote every 24 hrs. Help me to reach the top 100 of this month.

28 Comments

Cheers!

I had a lot of fun following this comic and will be re-reading it as soon as I get the time.

And you’re right to work for yourself before working for us, online audience is unrewarding ^^

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Raul Trevino Reply:

Thank you, Wetcrops. I’m glad to know it. I suggest you to wait to read it again because it’s being edited by an editor and new pages at the beginning are going to be added. Cheers!

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Wow, a 5-page update? Congratulations on finishing such a huge story! I liked how you wrapped it all up and still left plenty of room for more; I am satisfied if it ends here, but I look forward to more stories of the Wasteland.

Now, here are the copious usage and grammar corrections for the first page:

Page 1, panel 1 “a moody, loner, and crazy girl” mixes adjectives with the noun loner. However, lonely doesn’t have the meaning that I think you are going for, so maybe “a moody, detached, and crazy girl”
Of course, this is Splitter, and this is a mistake an illiterate or rebellious native speaker might make, so it fits his character either way.

Page 1, Panel 1 “you can gave to her?” should be “you can _give_ to her?”

Page 1, Panel 1 “That’s a serious thing.” has proper grammar, but it is normal to say “That’s _personal_!” when warning people about blabbing intimate details about someone else’s personal business. I think “That’s a seriously personal thing!” is a good way to clarify what Chapi means without seeming weird to English speakers.

Page 1, Panel 2 “She left her” is confusing. Did Milla leave her mother or did her mother leave her? If I am correct in thinking it was the mother who left, a good replacement could be “She left Milla”

Page 1, Panel 2 “Valley Chrome” should be either “Chrome Valley” or “the Valley of Chrome” Also, “the place we lived.” should be either “the place _where_ we lived.” or “where we lived.”

Page 1, Panel 4 “She is carrying a rejection feeling on her back.” is not a normal thing to say in English, even though it makes sense and is grammatically correct. I think “She carries the burden of rejection with her.” expresses the same thing while flowing better in English. It could also be said “The feeling of rejection weighs heavily on her,” but then it doesn’t makes sense with Splitter’s subsequent question, “Carrying what?!”

Page 1, Panel 5 “Uh?!” should be “Huh?!” ‘Uh’ is what you say when you are filling silence and thinking of what to say, like ‘hmm’ or the Japanese あのー(anou). ‘Huh?’ by itself is what you say when you want someone to repeat themselves or when you are surprised and confused, like when you say ‘What?’ or ‘Pardon me?”

That’s it for now. I think I have time for the rest of it tonight.

[Reply]

Raul Trevino Reply:

This is of a great help. Thank you so much!

I already fixed the grammar taking your suggestions. As you said, I left the first panel, –the moody thing… –as it is. Make sense to me that sometimes Splitter speaks illiterate. Thank you so much, Nathan.

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nooo!!!!!!! y ahora que voy a hacer los martes para reir un poco despues de estar estresado parte del dia??
ya en serio, espero que puedas continuar regalàndonos algo mas de tu arte,(si,ARTE,ya que no cualquiera hace lo que tù ), asi que a seguir creando y a poner a funcionar esa maquina de pensar(si no, se puede atrofiar :D )
gracias
saludos desde la hermana republica de Cuautitlan Izcalli Edo. Mex.

[Reply]

Raul Trevino Reply:

Lo se, yo también voy a extrañar actualizar este webcómic como lo hacía. Pero estate al pendiente de noticias. Saludos hasta allá. Un abrazo y gracias por comentar.

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Looking forward to get this printed comic book! Also, I’ve subscribed to the mailing list since… Well, I don’t happen to recall anymore since when, but I’ve never received anything.

Hopefully you can spam Facebook or other media to let us know about the release or pre-order of this book.

Even though, I need to congratulate you for such an amazing work Raul, and encourage you to keep it up!

Kind regards.

[Reply]

Raul Trevino Reply:

Great you subscribed. I haven’t sent anything yet ‘coz: 1. I haven’t finished designing the concept art book and 2. I was finishing Tinkers. I will sent you some news in the following months. Thanks for commenting and for all your support, Pedro.

[Reply]


Looks like I missed a couple on page 1.

Page 1, Panel 1: “Moody, loner and crazy girl” should be “Moody, loner, and crazy girl” (missing comma before the and)

Page 1, panel 4: “I can understand more her attitudes.” should be “I can understand more _of_ her attitudes” , but it is usually expressed in English as “I understand more how she feels.” or “I can understand how she feels.”

Page 2, panel 3: “come true or what?” should be “come true, or what?” (missing comma before the or)

Page 2, panel 4: “I think I got something for you.” should be “I think I have something for you.” “I got” is a common informal mode of expression, but it is improper. Dr. Deb seems like someone who is well educated and prefers to speak properly.

Page 2, panel 5: “the most recent” in this case is normally expressed as “the newest” or possibly rephrased as “a copy of the most current map of the villages and communities in the wastelands.”

Page 3, panel 1: “what it looked like” should be “what looked like” or “what seemed like”

Page 3, panel 1: “the differences between two parts” is an atypical expression in English. I think it would be better to go with “quarrels between two people”, especially because of the expression “lover’s quarrel”
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/quarrel?s=t

Page 3, panel 1: “leaded” should be “led”

Page 3, panel 1: “regularly is” should be “is usually” or “is typically” The original wording makes sense, but the word ‘regularly’ isn’t typically used in this situation.

Page 3, panel 1: “do you promise you are gonna stop fighting” should be “do you promise to stop fighting” or “do you promise that you will stop fighting?”

Page 3, panel 3: “need to put my hands on work.” should be “put my hands _to_ work.”

Page 3, panel 6: “nothing will take me away this feeling.” should be “nothing will take this feeling away from me.” This is not a mistake a native English speaker would normally make, even if he is illiterate.

Page 3, panel 6: “Again with it?” should be “Again with _that_?” or “That again?”

Page 4, panel 1: “Shoot them!” should be “Shoot, _then_!” or “_Say_ them!” Of course, mixing up the expression could be an illiterate mistake, although it isn’t very common.

Page 4, panel 6: “How do you dare?” should be “How dare you?” Not an illiterate mistake.

Page 5, panel 1: “At least you avoided to have” should be “At least you avoided”

Page 5, panel 1: “look things” should be “look _at_ things” , and “another perspective” is more commonly expressed as “another point of view”

Page 5, panel 2: “is anything” should be “is _nothing_” or “_isn’t_ anything”

I can understand why doing it for you is why you were able to finish. I am glad I can help, but editing is fun too, and the satisfaction of a job well done is often more motivating than the appreciation of other people. I like to teach, to fix things, and to use my knowledge. (Though I am jealous that you can make yourself understood in multiple languages. I only know English well.) But I am glad you finished, no matter what the reason was.

[Reply]

Raul Trevino Reply:

Wooow, I have a lot work to do here. Thank you so much for this.

I’m glad to know that you love what you do. No so much people have this luck.

Thanks for the understanding. But definitely you are an important piece of this project because my work is done just if one person read it. Otherwise, it’s incomplete.

Thanks for your time and your efforts.
Best,
Raul

[Reply]


Hi. I don’t comment on any comic i read. This is my first time and i want to tell You that You should be proud that you didnt get to the top 10 on topwebcomic. I dont like them. Only once or twice my favorite comic made to top 10. But dont think that i dont try to change that. I try to support You and other comic writers at least by voting on You. So keep up good work and do not put too many pills in your rectum. Practise works out better.

[Reply]

Raul Trevino Reply:

Thank you, Gunsik.

Be sure that I have the right motivation now. Thanks for your support and your advice, ha ha ha! And thanks a lot as well, for having the will to post a comment letting me know your thoughts. I really appreciate that. Cheers!

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your work is a masterpeace in its own way with your grammical errors we can tell that this is a work that had talent, skill, and merit put into it i’m just a random guy posting on your site thats been here sense you opened but
let it be said that raul trevino’s work has been read and as i write this in my bed
without a good laugh we’ld all be dead

[Reply]

Raul Trevino Reply:

Hello, thank you so much for your kind words. I’m glad you spent a good time reading my crazy story. Best regards. :)

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Hey, good luck in your next moves, Raul. This was a strong arc, good characters, excellent art and I hope to see more. Bravo.

[Reply]

Raul Trevino Reply:

Hey CR, thank you so much. I’m almost about to print the book. There are gonna be 2,000 copies, this is the plan for the english version. I will make some tours in USA next year so I hope we can shake hands in one of those events. Thanks for everything. You got ‘Special Thanks’ in the “Thank You Page”. Cheers!

[Reply]

Raul Trevino Reply:

By the way, do you want to be credited as “CR”?

[Reply]

CR Reply:

That’s fine. I barely helped but I was happy to contribute what I did. : )

Cool, have fun on the tours (I’m assuming that means doing conventions?).

[Reply]

Raul Trevino Reply:

Yeap! conventions. I will let you know the schedule in a close future. Hopefully starting in LA and in 2014 San Diego, NY, Chicago and Texas. Where are you from?

[Reply]

CR Reply:

I’m in the midwest, a little ways from Chicago actually.I think I’ve only been to one actual comic convention and that was out in Portland (OR). I would like to eventually go to another one, money permitting.

That’s quite a tour, sounds like a blast. : ]

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Great comic. I’ve sent links to my friends who are into games like Borderlands and Fallout and they love it too. Even if your comic doesn’t take the world by storm, you’ve created a story that a lot of people enjoyed, and hopefully had a lot of fun in the process. That’s more than a lot of people do. Hopefully the con tour goes well. Post the schedule on the main page so we can mob you for books and merch. :)

[Reply]

Raul Trevino Reply:

Wow, thank yo Pyro. I haven’t read this comment. I’m sorry for the delay. But Thank you so much for spread the word. Here is the mailing list of Tinkers in case you are interested to get some news http://eepurl.com/szUr1

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Well now I’m sad and happy at the same time, sad the storie arc is done but happy I found it and read it!
I will look forward with great hopes To further storie arc’s of the Wasteland. Great Art And Fun Storie !
{*v*}

[Reply]

Raul Trevino Reply:

I’m happy you enjoyed it. Thanks and if you are interested to get news please sign up Tinkers’s mailing list form: http://eepurl.com/szUr1

[Reply]


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