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Hello gang,

What could be Milla’s goal in life? We’ll see it in the next update…

Definitely this has been a long journey, which has been teaching me a lot of things about telling stories. A project which I started as an experiment and I never put down my pen to stop even in the most difficult situations in my life. This arc is finishing very soon. Besides making comics is a tough work, I learned that I would like to do this the rest of my life. I really wish, so thanks for your support.

On the other hand, I cannot stop asking you to sign up to the mailing list ‘coz every time I’m saying this, more people is doing it. If you do it, you will receive in your inbox a sneak peek of the concept art book of Tinkers of the Wasteland. For those who already signed up. I can’t do all the things at the same time but I usually finish all my commitments so please be patient and you will receive some news in the following months.

Thank for reading.
Raul

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8 Comments

“The man who seeks revenge should dig two graves.”

Panel Two – “… and puree them!” and “… keep my friends safe.” (Although, considering this is Splitter talking, these can probably be excused due to his illiteracy.)

Panel Three – “… took the liberty of installing …”

Panel Eight – This one can probably be worded in several different ways, I’m more inclined to think something like “… and he can learn more in a WEEK than I can in a YEAR!” Again, however, illiteracy can be invoked.

Panel Twelve – “… really useful tools for my research in the Wastelands!”

Some shades of /deus/ /ex/ /machina/ here – but we’ve got to get our good gear from somewhere! I think finding out what Milla wants will give more insight into her character (Milla & King Queer are probably the most complex characters in this story, and definitely have the most “behind the curtain,” as it were…)

Keep it up!

[Reply]

Raul Trevino Reply:

Hello JKelley,

I fixed them. Thank you for your time on this. Following your words I decided to let this line as it’s: “…keep safe my friends.”

And I’m sorry for the /deus/ /ex/ /machina/ :O

I’m agree those two characters are most complex.

Best,
Raul

[Reply]

JKelley Reply:

Raul -
There’s nothing wrong with a little deus ex – it can simplify storytelling! What do you think Q was in the James Bond novels/movies, or when Clive Cussler would write himself into a Dirk Pitt novel, and give a useful bit of information or equipment.

It is possible to overuse the deus ex approach, but you’re not anywhere near that point. It can even be overused for comic effect – cf: “Crazy Prepared” at TVTropes, or a good example would be Artie Nielsen and his “magic black bag” in Warehouse 13 (or me and my pockets, in everyday life…)

There’s no need to apologize – in this case, it could be said to be necessary to advance the plot, and works well within the story!

[Reply]

Nathan White Reply:

“I hate to disagree, but I don’t see “keep safe my friends” as a mistake of an illiterate person. It parses as me commanding my friends to keep safe, so the order changes the meaning of the phrase. The only native English speakers I have heard use such phrasings are less than five years old. (Of course, I don’t know the details of how Splitter was brought up. Maybe some of his language skills are still at the preschool level.)

Here are some of the most common mistakes illiterate native English speakers make.

Subject-verb disagreement: He was is correct, he were is the illiterate mistake.

Plural subject/object confusion:
The less educated mistake puts the objects where the subjects should be:
Me and him went (incorrect)
He and I went. (correct)
Moderately educated people make the mistake of thinking all plural nouns should be subjects:
Something happened to he and I (incorrect)
Something happened to him and me. (correct)

Malapropisms: using the wrong word (that usually sounds like the right word) Compliment/complement, tandem/tantrum, aboard/abode, etc.

Have, has, had + a verb:
I have been working on my grammar. (Correct)
I been working on my grammar. (Incorrect)

Ignorance of irregular verbs
He goed to the store. (incorrect)
He went to the store. (correct)

[Reply]


Page 1, panel 1: “is covering” is grammatically correct but scans better if replaced with “covers”

Page 1, panel 2: ” I wish I can make my Pirate,” should be “I wish to make my Pirate” or “I wish I could make my Pirate” *note the omission of the comma after pirate)

Page 1, panel 2: “Keep safe my friends” should be “Keep my friends safe”

Page 2, panel 4: “this is of a great help.” should be this is a great help.”

[Reply]

Raul Trevino Reply:

Thanks for all your help. Check your email :)

[Reply]


Wow, I finished the archives already? It’s been a blast reading Tinkers of the Wasteland, and I look forward to what is to come. I love the art style; I think it suits the story very well. I love the story and humor; they are so much fun.

Maybe I’ll read again from the beginning and write grammar and spelling corrections for the earlier pages, now that I know that you want them. I wonder how far I’ll get before you’re done writing this arc and the 10 complement pages.

[Reply]

Raul Trevino Reply:

And WOW!! I have some work to do with all your notes. I really appreciate all your efforts and dedication.

About the beginning is not necessary at all. Right now and editor is working on script, he has already 200 pages revised. There is still a long way but he is working on it.

On the other hand, it’s great to know that you are enjoying this project. I will let you know once the book is finished so you can enjoy it as a whole.

Best regards,
Raul

[Reply]


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